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Solitude – when I want it, I can’t get it. And when I have it, I don’t want it or I don’t know what to do with it.

To be honest, solitude is not high on my list of christian disciplines. I find it easier to be by myself than be by myself WITH God. It takes tremendous focus for me to be with God by myself. Stripped of fellowship, church, cell group, it is interesting to see what my (our) relationship with God looks like. I admit, mine is not that good.

My “quiet times” or “times of solitude” are often rushed and unfocussed, one-sided and shallow. The demands of life always seem to prevail and whilst I know that I must pray, be still and trust God with child-like faith, I find it hard with this grown-up life. My head says “do this” and “do that”, but my heart and spirit says “sit and pray” – my daily struggle.

Bert brought out the idea of solitude with God as a time to sort out deep issues. It is so true that even our closet of friends do not really know what’s going on in out hearts all the time. Whilst we can have a lovely evening laughing and talking to friends, when they are gone we are left with the same burdens, hurt, sadness, and loneliness that was there before.

So I tried Bert’s idea about using time alone to sort out an issue with God. And it was good. I cried, I got it out and felt God reassuring me with some bible verses. Maybe I should do it more often.

This was the second in a new series about our Inner and Outer Life. You can find the message as well as the worship at the BCEC Sermon Page or listen to last week’s sermon directly – Inner Life : Developing Spiritual Disciplines.

Posted in 2011 Love Beyond, Sunday Service and tagged , , .